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In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul dealt with the question of marriage. The Corinthians had written to Paul and asked him many questions, including one in regard to marriage. We have looked at how Paul dealt with the question of marriage as it related to divorced and widowed Christians, Christian couples, and mixed marriages (a believer married to an unbeliever). In 1 Corinthians 7:25 he began to speak to those who were single and had never married.
1 Corinthians 7:25 (NKJV) "Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy.
Notice that Paul began the verse the same way he began chapter seven: "Now concerning". That phrase indicates that he is answering questions; he must have received a question about virgins. The term virgin is the Greek word parthenos which is used to refer to both men and women. It is used in Revelation 14:4 of men: "These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins.
Perhaps the question came from the parents: "Should we or should we not allow our daughters to be married?" Perhaps the question came from the single people in the church: "Can we, or should we consider marriage?" An understanding of the background of the Corinthian church helps us understand their questions. Some people at Corinth were teaching asceticism which includes celibacy. They were teaching that celibacy was a higher spiritual state than marriage. In light of this teaching, many were wondering if those who were single should get married.
Paul gave his answer beginning in verse 25: "I have no commandment from the Lord". In other words, when the Lord was here he didn't address this issue, so Paul can't point to something the Lord said to answer their question. Paul was able to do that in dealing with their question as to whether two believers should get a divorce. He reminded them of the Lord's teaching (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). He couldn't do that here, but he said he had a judgement to give them. This judgement is not merely Paul's opinion. The phrase, "as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy", is a technical expression that designates Paul's call to apostleship. Paul's judgement was from an apostle, a messenger of God. His words were the inspired word of God, as is all Scripture.
2 Peter 1:20-21 (NKJV) "knowing this first, that no prophecy of Scripture is of any private interpretation, for prophecy never came by the will of man, but holy men of God spoke as they were moved by the Holy Spirit."
Paul emphasized his authority as an apostle at the conclusion of this section: "and I think I also have the Spirit of God" (7:40). He was not raising a question; rather he was affirming, "I have the Spirit of God." 1 Corinthians 7 is Scripture, and all Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable to us.
In 1 Corinthians 7:26-35 Paul gave his judgement as it related to the unmarried Christians. Then in verse 36-38 he gave his judgement as it related to the parents of those unmarried Christians.
We could summarize Paul's judgement to the single Christians this way, "It is better to stay single." Paul has repeated that idea over and over in this chapter. Paul gave four reasons for his judgement. The first reason appears in verses 26-28.
I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress; that it is good for a man to remain as he is (1 Corinthians 7:26).
Paul told the Corinthians believers they were better off single because of the present distress. What was the present distress? Since Paul did not specify the dangers or distresses, this phrase is open to interpretation. Since the distress was present, we can suppose that some temporary situation was in view. The Greek word for present is enistemi which means to place on hand, be instant, be impending. The word distress is from the Greek word anagke which means a stress or calamity, or sometimes the means of calamity. Scholars usually give one of three meanings for the distress. It could denote a local calamity that had befallen the church in Corinth. Or it could intimate the persecution Christians endured in those times. Or it could refer to a famine. Certainly the Christians at that time suffered a great deal from persecution by those in political power. There is also some evidence that there was a famine in the Greek countryside at that time which brought misery to the citizens, especially the poor people.
Some hold that Paul was teaching against marriage because he felt the second coming of Christ was near. If that were his position, he would naturally have argued against marriage in his other letters also. If the present distress is interpreted from an eschatological perspective, no believer would ever think of making wedding plans.
Paul could have been referring to the coming Roman persecutions, the first of which began under Nero some ten years after Paul wrote 1 Corinthians. That emperor refined torture to a diabolical art and his name became synonymous with sadistic cruelty. He had Christians sewn up in animal skins and thrown before wild dogs to be torn apart and eaten. Other believers were soaked in tar, tied to posts, and set on fire to become human candles for Nero's garden. Corinth itself furnished one of the early Christian martyrs. According to Foxe's Book of Martyrs, Erastus, the treasurer of that city and probably a convert of Paul's, was martyred.
Persecution is difficult enough for a single person, but the problems and pain are multiplied for one who is married. In light of the Corinthian's present distress, they were not to change their status. Paul said, "It is good for a man to remain as he is." The phrase, "as he is", relates to verse 25 which referred to virgins. It was good for the Corinthian believers to remain single in light of their present distress. Paul expanded on that thought in the next verse:
"Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife." (1 Corinthians 7:27)
Paul advised the believers not to change their status. The Christian was advised to retain the same marital state as he had when he became a believer, just as he was advised to maintain his vocation, location, and so on. We looked at this principle last week. While Paul told them that their situation was no time to consider marriage, he was not saying that marriage is wrong.
But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you. (1 Corinthians 7:28)
He was not saying that marriage was wrong or that celibacy was a higher spiritual state than marriage. If any of them did decide to marry, they were not in sin. The point is that marriage is a legitimate option, but it is good to consider first the option of singleness.
Notice how he concludes verse 28: "If you marry you will have trouble in the flesh and I want to spare you that trouble." Ladies, he's not referring to your husband. What does he mean by trouble in the flesh? The word trouble is translated from the Greek word thlipsis which means literal or figurative pressure, afflicted, anguish, burdened, persecution, tribulation, trouble. Paul could have been referring to physical persecution. When persecution comes, a man may be a hero in himself, but he becomes a coward when he thinks of his wife and children. To be married only increased the pain and sorrow that came with persecution. It would be quite painful to know that your family was suffering because of your stand for the Lord. I would be much more inclined to compromise my faith if my wife or children were suffering because of it.
Remaining single because of persecution is not particularly relevant to us today in the United States, but that does not negate Paul's point. There are many Christian elsewhere who are suffering for their faith and this would still apply to them. There is also a principle here that applies to us: although marriage is permissible, some circumstances make marriage unadvisable and inexpedient. What circumstances today would make it unadvisable to get married? Great financial debt, a major area of disagreement between potential spouses, or a life threatening disease. As strange as that sounds in our culture, marriage is permissible but it is not always advisable. As a pastor, when I am asked to marry a couple, I have to make a decision as to whether their marriage would be expedient. If I don't think that it is advisable I won't marry them. That is one of the purposes of pre-marriage counseling.
Paul's first reason for remaining single was the present distress. He gave a second reason in 1 Corinthians 7:29-31. He said they should consider remaining single because life is brief and our opportunities for service are very limited.
But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none (1 Corinthians 7:29).
The time is short. Many say this is a reference to the second coming: Paul expected the Lord to return very shortly so they should remain single. But I think it is better to see it as a summary philosophy of life for Paul who lived not for the temporal but for the eternal. Paul and James both spoke of life's brevity.
2 Corinthians 4:18 (NKJV) "while we do not look at the things
which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the
things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are
not seen are eternal."
James 4:14 "whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For
what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time
and then vanishes away."
Life is exceedingly brief at best. Notice that the first part of verse 29 and the last sentence of verse 31 convey a message on the brevity of time. A detachment from temporal matters should characterize all Christians but detachment is more complex for married people.
What did Paul mean by the end of verse 29: "from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none"? That is a very difficult phrase. He can't be saying that we should get a divorce because he already said in verse 10 that Christians are not to divorce. Is he calling for celibacy within marriage? No, he has already addressed that issue in 1 Corinthians 7:2-3. Is he saying that the husband ought to ignore his duties as a husband? Some of you ladies are thinking, "My husband is fulfilling that. He lives as if he isn't married." And some of you men are thinking, "That's a great verse! I've been looking for a verse like that." Is the husband to cease loving his wife and children and bury himself in the work of God? Is that what he is saying? This verse has been used to justify marital neglect in order to serve the Lord. I do not think that the man who said, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it" would ever instruct us to love our wives less than that.
What was Paul saying? Possibly he was saying that marriage should not reduce a Christian's obligation and devotion to the Lord and His work. The responsibilities of marriage are no excuse for slacking off in the Lord's work. Married people ought to have the attitude toward Christian service of a single person who is free from temporary temporal material obligations, and who is potentially free to love the Lord and to serve the Lord without any distraction of husband wife or children. Paul clarified that in the next few verses. All believers are to be occupied primarily with eternal things, rather than temporal things and this is easier for a single person.
Paul said that a believer ought to have the same zeal for the Lord after he is married as he had when he was single. He went on to say,
those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess (1 Corinthians 7:30).
Believers are not to get carried away with weeping or rejoicing over things that pass away. We to often express more emotion over temporal earthly things than we do over eternal things. The accumulation of money and of the things it can buy is a preoccupation of many Christians. Many of us are more concerned about our bank accounts, houses, and cars than about our spiritual lives. In other words, we are more concerned about the temporal than the eternal.
Furthermore, believers ought to live as "those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away" (1 Corinthians 7:30). Believers are not to use the world, not misuse it. The opportunities the world offers may actually help the Christian in his work for God. The warning is not that the Christian will be perverted by earthly pleasures, but that he may easily be distracted from his main goal by getting caught up in them for their own sakes. Paul said that the form of this world is passing away. Paul did not say that the world will pass away, but that it is now passing away. The image in the Greek is drawn from a stage play in which the scenery is shifting from one act to the next. We should not overvalue those things, knowing that they are passing away.
William Kelly was an outstanding student of the Bible whose scholarship and spirituality made him a real power for God in Great Britain at the close of the last century. Mr. Kelly helped a young relative prepare for Trinity College in Dublin, and in this way came to the attention of the professors there. They urged him to take up work at the college and thus distinguish himself. When Mr. Kelly showed a complete lack of enthusiasm, they were bewildered. One of them asked in exasperation, "But Mr. Kelly, aren't you interested in making a name for yourself in the world?" To which Mr. Kelly cleverly replied, "Which world, gentlemen?" Mr. Kelly demonstrated an eternal perspective which should be true of every believer. We are to be seeking the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.
Paul told the Corinthians that it was good for them to remain single because of the present distress and because of the brevity of life. He gave a third reason in verses 32-35. This third reason is a development of the second reason: remain single because marriage often distracts a person from serving the Lord.
But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord; how he may please the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:32)
The emphasis in this paragraph is on the word carefulness. The Greek word translated carefulness is amerimnos which means to be anxious, to be pulled in different directions. Paul said in verse 33 that the married man is pulled in two different directions:
He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord; how he may please the Lord.
That is not true of every unmarried person, but it is potentially true for the unmarried because they do not have the responsibilities of caring for a spouse or children. They are in a position where they can care preeminently for the things of the Lord. Just imagine what Virginia Beach would be like if every unmarried Christian was completely committed to the things of the Lord.
Some single people feel tremendous pressure to be married. They think their lives can be complete only in marriage. But Paul underlined one advantage of being single: the potential for greater focus on Christ and his work. If you are unmarried, use your special opportunity to serve Christ wholeheartedly.
But he who is married cares about the things of the world; how he may please his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:33)
The married man is not free of care. The Greek word for care is merimnao which means to be anxious about especially in a time of stress. A married man is not only interested in pleasing his wife, but is particularly concerned for her safety in a time of persecution.
There are the exceptions, but a marriage relationship with its responsibilities and obligations can be potentially devastating to the spiritual life of the man. Paul's solution is to stay single. Without a spouse, a person will not be tempted to be distracted from pleasing and serving the Lord by marriage responsibilities and obligations.
There is much textual debate over 1 Corinthians 7:33-34. The Greek text of verse 34 has many variations but it seems that the beginning of verse 34 should be at the end of verse 33. Divided that way would make it read like this: "He that is married careth for the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and is divided." Remember that the Greek manuscripts have no punctuation. We must put in the commas and periods. The Greek verb merizo, in the passive voice means "is divided." It is the same verb used in 1 Corinthians 1:13, "Is Christ divided?" A married man is divided between his service of the Lord and his martial duties. The same thing applies to women, verse 34:
(There is a difference between a wife and a virgin.) The unmarried woman and the virgin care about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world; how she may please her husband.
Again, the textual evidence is inconclusive, but the phrase in parenthses seems to fit better at the end of verse 33. Wouldn't it be wonderful if ever unmarried woman was wholly dedicated to the Lord? Potentially that is possible because she has no other obligations, no other responsibilities. She is potentially in a position to care for the things of the Lord above all other areas. She could give herself wholly to doing God's work and trying to please Him.
We need to understand this verse in its historical context: a woman in New Testament times didn't support herself. She was either cared for by her father or her husband. Full time employment for a woman to support herself wasn't an issue then. But the principle is still generally true in our culture. Holiness or separation is contrasted with being divided. Practically, the unmarried person is potentially able to set himself or herself apart from the things of this life more exclusively for the Lord's work than a married person.
Paul concluded the verse by saying the married woman cares for the things of the world how she may please her husband. Pleasing her husband is part of the responsibility of the wife, but Paul said that often times distracts a wife from her service for the Lord. Paul said it is wise for a single person not to marry because the responsibilities of married life tend to distract a person from service of the Lord and from the desire to please the Lord. His judgement was for the profit of the Corinthians believers:
And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction. (1 Corinthians 7:35)
Paul was not trying to be a spoil sport--he was trying to make practical suggestions which would make their lives easier. The imagery in casting a snare (KJV) suggests throwing a noose over an animal in hunting. He is saying that his judgement was not binding, they were not obligated to stay single. There is no superiority in celibacy. His words were not a commandment for them: they were free to marry. He wanted to remind them that they would be tempted by the responsibilities of being a spouse to be distracted from serving the Lord.
Paul's judgement was given "that ye may serve the Lord without distraction." The idea of service is that of attentively waiting on someone. (See Luke 2:36, 37 for one example.) A distraction is a burden or an encumbrance. The language used here to draw the contrast between service and distraction is very similar to Christ's comments concerning Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-41. The heart of Paul's advice promotes faithful, undistracted devotion to the Lord.
Single Christians should ask themselves in which state, single or married, they can best serve the Lord. Many couples today can honestly attest that by the criterion of verse 35 (undistracte service to the Lord) they are better off married. Spouses can engage in team ministry, bring complementary gifts to a mutual task, and support and encourage one another. I believe that a married team is necessary in some areas of service, such as youth work. It is dangerous for a single man to work with the high school girls.
Paul's advice must be understood in light of the principle which began this chapter: whether a believer marries or doesn't marry depends upon the gift that God has given him. God gives some the gift to marry, and to others he gives the gift to be single. Paul said if you have the spiritual gift of singleness, do not marry. God gives some men and women the gift of singleness to free them of the responsibilities of being a spouse or parent so that they can serve God. God can give someone the spiritual gift of continence temporarily. A person may have the gift for a while until He removes the gift and he marries.
Paul told the unmarried believers at Corinth that, in his judgement as an apostle of Jesus Christ under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, it was better to remain unmarried because of the present circumstances, because of the brevity of life, and because marriage tends to distract people from the work of God.
After he addressed the unmarried people, he said a word to the parents of these young people in verses 36-38. There are some textual and exegetical problems in these verses. First and foremost, there is disagreement as to whether the subject is the father of the virgin or the bridegroom. Verse 38 seems to indicate that he is talking to the parents: "So then he who gives her in marriage does well". The verb that is translated here "giveth her" always means to give in marriage. It is never used of marrying. Because parents give in marriage, I assume that parents are in view here. He said two things to them.
But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin [that is his daughter], if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry. (1 Corinthians 7:36)
Some fathers may have thought that it would be best for their daughters not to marry, but they began to wonder if they made the right choice. Possibly their daughters seemed to not have the gift of singleness and they needed to get married. Paul reassured them that it was alright to let them marry, and it was not sin.
Verse 37 gives us the second part of his answer: Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well. (1 Corinthians 7:37)
Paul gave three conditions that must be present before a father or mother decided not to give their daughter in marriage. First of all, he stood steadfast in his heart. This seems to mean that the father had a firm and settled conviction that, in view of the circumstances, it was inexpedient for his daughter to marry.
The second condition for not giving a daughter in marriage was having no necessity. This referred to the gift: there is no external evidence that she needed to get married. She seemed perfectly happy single.
The last condition for keeping a single daughter was "but has power over his own will". The father could have no one over him forcing his will. This is possibly a reference to slavery where the master wanted the daughter to marry.
These verses sound very foreign to us in twentieth century America, but they must be understood in light of the New Testament background. In those days the fathers of Jewish, Roman, and Greek families determined whether their daughters would marry or not marry.
The father made arrangements for the marriage and the daughter could not be married without her father's permission. We must keep in mind that although we don't live in that culture, these verses still speak to us because God's principles never change. God's unchanging principles include "honor your father and your mother." As long as a young lady lives under the authority of her father, (and I don't believe that a young lady should leave the authority of her father until she is given to her husband and comes under his authority) she is to live in submission to his desires and rules. Even when she leaves her father's authority, she is still to honor him with respect. The person who enters into a marriage relationship without the unconditional approval of both his parents is disobeying God and dishonoring his parents. God uses the authority of the parents to guide the children. If parents do not approve of the marriage, maybe it's not the right person or maybe it's not the right time. Trust God to work thro ugh your parents, young people. The very important principle here is to honor our fathers and our mothers, which is one of the ten commandments.
Paul again encouraged singleness in verse 38:
So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who
does not give her in marriage does better.
Paul closed with a brief note to the widows in verse 39-40: A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:39)
Paul emphasized that marriage is a life long covenant, "until death do us part". Paul's fourth reason for remaining single was because of the permanency of marriage. He told the widows two things. First they were free to remarry whomever they wished. But Paul also gave one restriction: only in the Lord. A Christian is only to marry another believer. Maybe by saying "only in the Lord", instead of "only in Christ", he meant that the person a believer marries is to be a Christian who is living his life in obedience to the Lordship of Christ.
Although Paul told the widows they were free to remarry in the Lord, he added,
But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment; and I think I also have the Spirit of God. (1 Corinthians 7:40)
In view of the present distress and in view of the obligations of marriage, she would be happier if she remained single. Paul's recommendation was for a person to remain single if he had that gift.
Paul stressed that serving the Lord and living to please him are more important than marriage. The first and foremost concern of a believer's life is to be serving God. A believer is to evaluate every action according to its effect on his service for the Lord.
George Bernard Shaw wrote the great play "Joan of Arc". He pictures the title character leaving her home and moving through France to inspire the French to fight against the British conquerors. In one of the scenes she is standing in the royal hall with Prince Charles and rebuking him for his cowardliness and softness. Prince Charles has no aspirations to be a hero. He turns to her and says, "Why can't I be just what I am? Why can't you mind your business and let me mind my business?" The peasant girl in her fanatical zeal said, "Minding your own business is like minding your own health: it's the shortest way to sickness. It is God's business we are here to do and not our own, and I have a message for you from God." She was right: it is God's business that we are here to do and not our own. The most important thing in all of your life is serving God and doing those things that please Him. Warren Wiersbe suggests five questions to be answered when considering marriage. They aptly sum up Paul's concerns in this chapter:
1. What is my gift from God?
2. Am I marring a believer?
3. Are the circumstances such that marriage is right?
4. How will marriage effect my service for Christ?
5. Am I prepared to enter into this union for life?
These questions demand far more attention in contemporary Christian families, youth groups, and singles' gatherings than they usually receive.
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